The elephant in the room...

Gingari Kumuka (Eid ul-Fitr)
Originally uploaded by parisdelhi

As I was discussing capitalism and US culture with a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer friend, he noticed that there was a larger theme motivating my discourse and my ideas. As he began to inquire about what might be motivating my point of view on US culture and my over glorification of the very positive aspects of African culture, he uncovered a fact that I already knew but that I hadn't stated clearly enough to myself or anyone else.

When I lived in Togo and in my village for almost three years, I put my whole soul into being a part of the local linguistic and social fabric. I prayed regularly in the mosques, I voraciously learned Kotokoli, I did my best to spend my time exclusively with Africans, instead of becoming a part of a group of expatriate Americans, and in general I would attempt to live like and with the Togolese that surrounded me as much as possible.

My strict integration did give me insight into the thoughts and lives of the Africans with whom I lived and I believe that those insights have rendered the effect of my ongoing work there more sustainable, appropriate, and community owned. In addition, however, the fact that I became so engrossed in the ways of those that surrounded me in Togo has meant that coming back to the US marked the beginning of a period of loss and grieving. All that I had worked to become and to be in Togo, was meaningless and misunderstood or not understood on arrival in the US. That is where my sense of loss and grieving began. It was particularly harsh and depressing and I am not completely over it. I don't know if it would be good to be completely over it but thanks to an RPCV friend I am more aware of it.